| "And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces" |
[27 Jul 2006|11:32am] |
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only one, yellowcard |
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i have no idea why i'm writing in this again
maybe because i'm bored...or annoyed...frustrated...anxious...confused
blahh
so pretty much one of the greatest friendships i've builtup over the past 15 months...has been broken down in about 3 hours
it just sucks because no one understands how unique our friendship really is...i on't think i really understand it fully...
so we dated off and on for the past 8 months...and just ended it completely saturday night...that's the first time i've ever felt so...i don't even know the word for it blahhhh
we got into a pretty big fight though...i don't see how we can ever have the same relationship that we did before...for reasons i don't feel like explaining...
i'm just so frustrated...we haven't talked since sunday morning...a part of me misses him...and another part is still angry and wants to punch him in the face
i don't knowwww
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| "Is this real or is this fading..." |
[18 Jan 2006|07:36pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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all deliberate speed, mae |
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this thing is pretty much dead
no one reads it anyways so why update in it
whatever
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| "How you're caught up in the fight of your life." |
[05 Jan 2006|10:02pm] |
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heard the world, oar |
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just wanted to update on how awesome my break was...haha i knida got ungrounded...went to on the border the first night with a huge group of people, olivia, kle, mere, josh, bryan, eli, reilly, kate, jason, steven, kyle, alli, matt, and im missing some people ooops...it was def a lot of fun as usual...i just wish i could have talked to the other half of the table too...then a bon fire at bryans...which didnt work out too well but whatever...went shopping the next day with olivia, eli, bryan and kle! it was fun haha....then penn station with ben, olivia, bryan, eli, kle, kate & eak...and then later that night me olivia and eli wrapped up bryans bus for christmas haha it was fun, especially going to walmart and paying for like $20 in change haha at 1 a.m. yea so that ngiht was fun...bryan came over a couple times during break too...before he had to leve on the 26th :( so that part pretty much sucked...went to penn station with cole and his sis for lunch! i miss them...then saw fun with dick and jane with kle!! then to elis to play a harry potter game with him and his sis haha...chilis with a bunch of people later on that night...kle, olivia, eli, reilly, josh, brenna, kate, hil, mere, jen, april & eak...that was fun...and eli brought along his fart machine haha, got my wisdom teeth out on the 27th, eli and kle came to visit, and cole brought me a smoothie!...went to watch the skeleton key another night with kle josh eli and reilly...it def scared me haha...then i stn at kles! saw wedding crashers at the $1.50 theatre with olivia...ahh that place is awesome haha...some guy in a truck was gonna rape us though haha...soo yea that was a goooood movie! went shopping with kle to find new years outfits haha...and then went to see the ringer...with kle, eli, josh, mere, reilly, brenna and kate...it was a funnyyyyy movie, haha then to qdobas yummmm! and i took everyone home in less than an hour to make curfew haha...and i didnt kill anyone! so new years eve i went with eli to pick up bryan from teh airport...going around the terminal was fun haha! then we went back to reillys to partyyyyyy! lots of fun..except we ddint get to bed until 6 30 or 7 haha...but that night was a lot of fun...slept all day...then went to see wolf creek with kle, bryan, reilly, josh & craig...it was disturbing...i wouldnt recomend it...and yea on my last day i got in trouble haha...and basically thats my breakkkkkk
hmm so this weekend is gonna be fun...except im not allowed to drive until i get a car haha...ugh i have so much school work to do though!
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| "im gonna show you the time of your life" |
[07 Dec 2005|04:51pm] |
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hooked on a feeling, steepen wolf |
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today was a good dayy :)
well i was in a bad mood this morning
but first period was funny haha
i dunno why but me and kate find this cat disection thing halarious...haha
and second period we had the funniest sub, and these random workers started to fix our door and they started to like meow and make other random noises
omg i could not stop laughing
and third period i dunno i think i was just having one of those like days where you cant stop laughing
until fourth period, im failing math, but w/e fuck calculus who needs it?
after school was good too :)
tomorrow im going to penn station then maybe to visit bryan cuz hes getting his wisdom teeth out haha...chipmunk
friday=skip day ;)
winter formal on sat like i said before...im like excited but not excited to go....after party afterwards! hopefully
i love being in a good mood...i dont like the cold weather that much anymore haha
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| so i feel like bitching...get over it |
[06 Dec 2005|09:59pm] |
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crushed |
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get over it, ok go |
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wow i barley write in this thing anymore
doubt anyone reads it now haha
ugh this week has been lame
my past wekends have been lame
i need to shut the fuck up and stop complaining
actually you need to stop reading if you dont want to hear me complain
so maybe this weekend will be better
friday going to see rent maybe i dunno...who wants to come
sat...winter formal with bryan...i dunno how much fun it will be since i cant dance thanks to my knee
bonfire afterwards maybe
i miss cole
i was neglected today by someone i thought who cared
i need to stop eating chocolate & ice cream
oo yea physical therapy is the dumbest thing invented
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| "My weakness says that i care too much" |
[23 Nov 2005|09:03pm] |
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scars, papa roach |
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i think something good has happened but i cant really say what just yet...
anyways THANKSGIVING BREAK! gahh too bad everyones away
mall with kate & olivia today
the starbucks with cole
then he waited at my house with me until my mom got home (cuz i locked myself out)
haha we FINALLY got to catch up on everything :)
tomorrow=turkey day/family time :/
friday...me & kle are hanging out! then hot tub partyyyyyyyy
sat some people come home!!
i love this weather...cuddling time ;)
i really wanna go to a bobcats game...may & felton=♥
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| stupid acl |
[11 Nov 2005|09:18pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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so i got surgery wed on my acl...it was pretty numb that night so it didnt hurt, and i was on a lot of pain killers, kle and bryan stopped by with balloons, flowers & ice cream :) it was nice...i dont really remember much though...and they couldnt stay for long...yesterday i slept/watched movies...kle brought penn station over yummm...brenna stopped by for a little bit...and kelly & olivia watched the longest yard with me...bryan and josh came over for a little too afterwards...but it was kinda late so noone could really stay
the numbness wore off today...soo my leg seriously kills if its not elevated...todays prob been the worst...ive been bored out of my mind...havent really gotten to talk to anyone! bryan came over for a couple of min before going to the game...no one else did prob cuz its pretty boring here...i know im bored...and my parents arent very happy with me either because sometimes it hurts so bad i start crying...this just sucks....i dont see how im going to survive through tomorrow & sun...theres nothing to do...and no ones online because people actually have lives :(
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| how about a quick weekend update |
[06 Nov 2005|11:19pm] |
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lonely |
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the ocean, mae |
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no details...not in the mood to type
friday night=wendys with kate & olivia
last football game vs providence (lost)
yellowjackets that dont do shit
ryans partyy which owned
sat=sleep from 1-7
marios with brenna for dinner
back to bed
sun=church
panthers game! 6-2
penn station with bryan
youth
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| this sucks ass |
[03 Nov 2005|06:38pm] |
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wake me up when september ends, green day |
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so i just found out today that i tore my acl
i get surgery wed...wont be in school thurs...and laying around the rest of the weekend
hopefully ill be back monday...depends though
well im out for about 5-6 months
no basketball, indoor soccer, running, ski trip, and other crap
this really sucks...im trying hard not to cry & feel sorry for myself but it just plain sucks
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| Gangsta...what it is |
[30 Oct 2005|01:25pm] |
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mood |
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my humps, black eyed peas |
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this weekend has been goooooood
friday went to stonecrest with kate bren & liv, then me, liv and lauren went back to stonecrest, we stuck a trash bag in bryans van ick it smelled so bad...haha we took some pumpkins too and smashed them in his driveway, and we chalked elis and we saved a dog haha! all in one night! it was funnnn
had an MRI earlyyyy sat morning...go to the doctor again thursday to see whats wrong...grabbed penn station with bryan for lunch...yummmm, dressed up gangsta with brenna and kate for the halloween party, we went to harris teeter and then we went to find cole...haha he couldnt find us...but eventually did...he loved our gangster outfits! haha ill have pics of them up later...then we went to the partyy and eveyone like left to go to the movies haha so we only stayed for a little bit...then me bren kate april liv and lauren left haha and we had to take them home...stonecrest that night=wendys & looking like idiots...harris teeter haha...random guys...more random guys & finding where the partys at & just being dumb
so later i snuck out & me liv april kate & lauren went to rileys/bryans...we all piled into bryans van....we looked liek those mexicans that always pile into their work vans...there was me liv bryan eli april kate jason lauren craig riley quin & tracy...all 12 of us haha...we dropped lauren off...then we tried to crash these old peoples partyyy haha they gave us free beer though lol gosh they were so wasted...then we went back to rileys & bryans and chilled in both places there...then kate had to leave....and well thats as much as ill write on here....if you wanna know about the rest of the night then ask me...the whole world doesnt need to know about it haha
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| Seventeen |
[22 Oct 2005|02:42pm] |
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suspension, mae |
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my birthday was on thursday!...17 yeaaa!
brenna, olivia, kate & eak all made signs and stuck them in my parking sopt & decorated my spot & gave me a dancing santa haha! it was sooo funny/cute! def didnt expect it! had a soccer game later that night, fucked up my knee in the first 20 min of the game...popped the knee cap/hyperextended something else (ligaments maybe) i dunno im going to the doctor monday...we tied 1-1...oo well...talked to cole for a while...he is seriously the most awesomest guy ever!
then yesterday was ehh so so...couldnt really walk...after school i went to go get ice cream with bryan...i think he knew i was stressed out...i dunno...well then i went to oktoberfest with hil, olivia, jen, kate & alli...it was iight...then to wendys...and i thought i was stn at hil & jens...but they said we needed to stop by the barn to feed thier cats before we go back home...so when we get to the barn everyone yells surprise....aww they threw me a surprise partyyy...i def didnt expect it...or pick up on any clues! it was funny cuz i see brenna first looking all gangsta...then zach in his boxers haha...gosh it meant a lot though that people actually care...it was like kle, hil, bren, olivia, zach, josh, jen, kelly, alli, buffie, mere, allison, april, kate, bryan, tyler, jackson, jason, drew, and susana...bryan & kle stole me a road sign...Allison Ln! haha...tradition...and i got the first saeson of Laguna Beach...and 10 things i hate about you, the cutest slippers & scarf, REESES, money, 10 things i hate about you, and starbucks gift card yummmm....yea i seriously loveee my friends! so yea we all stn at the barn....me, olivia, eak, bren and kate went to walmart at like 12 30...and then taco bell haha...and the peto where we saw someone and drove by them like 5 times...they thought we were insane haha...yea so that adventure was fun...then later me kle olivia, alli, april, hil jen & susie all went to wesley chapel elem to climb on the roof....haha only like a 20 min walk...it was so much fun though! pretending to be rocks when cars came!...then we played kemps...me and allison were awesome at it...even though are signals sucks haha...but yea it was fun! haha so it was like 4ish when we finally headed up to the loft for bed...and some people were already sleeping...they got pretty pissed at us...so 3 people left at like 4 30 in the morning...oo well...but yea i ahd to get up earlyyyy for soccer...so i got like 2 hrs of sleep...hmm i didnt even egt to play in my game...i fucked my knee up even worse in warm ups, it keeps popping in and out of place ughhh...we lost 0-5 :( last game too and i couldnt even play
well at least last night was a ton of fun! i got to hang out with some awesome people! and i was so surprised...this birthday was def the best...i love love love love love my friends to death...im lucky to have them!
so ive decided im not gonna keep falling for.....he seems to act like he cares and then he'll change and not care at all...or seems like it, hes two faced at times...so im going to try my hardest not to give into his caring side...plus he doesnt know wtf he wants, im sick of wasting my time....
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| 5 days :) |
[15 Oct 2005|03:58pm] |
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wow last night was a good one! it was homecoming vs south meck
sooo i showed up late and tricked everyone into thinking that i wasnt gonna come at all haha...noone should ever believe me haha
so yea i was nervous to walk in front of everyone haha...but bryan made me laugh the whole time...everyone said when we walked down the field though we were swaying haha..ooo well...abby won for our grade awww it was sooo cute, haha so yea that part of the night was a lot of fun, then i changed and chilled with everyone for a little bit
then kle and cole were like allison we need to go and i was like ummm ok...and they said to met them in the parking lot after i got done talking with everyone...so i did and they attacked me with dart guns haha...and they gave me balloons, a pineapple, reeses and cake mix for an early birthday thing! then they handcuffed me to coles car and shot darts at me haha....awww it was soooo nice...and they really did surprise me! then we went to wendys to chill haha i <3 them both....they are awesome friends!
then i went back to kates for the night...eak and kelly left early though...and it was me bren olivia hil and jen...and bryan and annie came over for a bit too cuz we thought thered still be a bonfire but it disappeared...but yea kates crazy neighbors bitched us out about going 30 in a 25 zone in the neighborhood...it was just retarted...oo well i got wendys! and susana came over a little bit later
had a soccer game this morning tied 0-0
now im exhausted...i dunno what im doing tonight either
PICTURES FROM THE GAME :)
oo yea we won the homecoming game!
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| an awesome week just ended horribly |
[09 Oct 2005|05:27pm] |
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big pimpin, jay z |
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omg this weekend has been fun! until today
but thursday was powderpuff practice i was sooooo hyper haha...i sucked though...im a line backer now...they moved me from whatever the thing that covers the reciever is called to a line backer cuz im so bad haha...well after powderpuff a bunch of people went to marios to eat...yummmm then to good will....where we got craig a dog bowl thing for his bday haha...then me eak olivia hil and jen all showed up to his surprise partyyy wooohoo we got cake too...haha, then the rest of the night we drove around taking pumpkins off peoples pourches, and they are now all in the trunk of my car...wow how patheic are we haha...but it was soo much fun, then we all stn at eaks...friday i had lunch with my mom at la stradas ickkk they dont have good food...then later went to the mall with some friends to go dress shopping for homecoming...haha we all tried on random ugly dresses it was fun, it took forever though for me to find a dress but i finally did...then we all went to eat a steak n shake haha that was sooo much fun! our waiter was funny haha he liked us those...fugly slut...whorebagg haha, it was funnny...and then when me and eak went to the bathroom i started to make these random noises haha it was so funny i prob freaked that one lady out! then we all went to target and put a bunch of condoms in our cart...then we took them and as people passed by we put them in their carts or at least tried too...and we got one of those carts with the baby thing and strapped in this ugly skeletan thing to it haha...that was funnnnnn...then later me and olivia went to merediths to stn...we baked pumpkin chocolate chip muffins haha they were goood....and alli straightened meres hair for like 3 hrs but it looked really good...but yea that was soo much fun! minus getting up early ugh me alli and olivia oversleot for an extra hour so we were late to getting our service hours...but yea we all worked in the firethorn club house for nhs hours and crap haha then we headed over to good will to get outfits for spirit week haha...then i came home and slept cuz i was exhausted...alter that night me brenna kate and olivia all went to see 40 year old virgin akfjklfja it was halarious! haha and well today i had a soccer game but me and kris got benched half way through and now my dads really mad at me so i cant go to youth anymore...it was like the one thing i was looking forward too all week/weekend and now i cant even go...my dad likes to make me miserable...i honestly think he does...gosh i really wanted to go to youth...i dunno how much more of him i can take...i really think im gonna graduate a semester early next year just so i can get away from this house
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| this could be the end |
[03 Oct 2005|06:34pm] |
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crappy |
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shinedown, 45 |
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im not really sure if anyone really even reads this...so why update it...so this could be my last entry unless...
people comment letting me know that i actually write in this for some reason haha..otherwise im threw with this...or i may just make it friends only haha
just comment saying aye if you are one of those lj whores who live for reading other peoples ljs...haha
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| this sucks |
[28 Sep 2005|09:38pm] |
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stressed |
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big pimpin, jay z |
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soo this week has gone from bad to terrible
the stress has become too much...everything has just become too much...and well it feels like there really isnt anyone to talk to...but i know there are friends there its just i suck at opening up to people...and i dont really like talking to girls about shit because it tends to just start drama...but w/e
so i was talking to bryan last night and he was like ill come over and cheer you up...so he snuck out around 11 30ish and we went to this house being built in my neighborhood to talk...well about 30 min later his phone rings and its his dad saying bryan youre fucked get home...so i guess he noticed the car was missing or i dunno...so i find out today hes grounded for at least a month, no car, cell, computer, or after 9...which he was getting friday...so i already felt bad that he got in trouble because of me even though i never asked him to come over...but i still felt bad...lunch is like the only good part of my day now...the guys are halarious...but yea my day got worse...when i got home my mom was like allison get in here and i was like hmm ok...well turns out bryans parents called mine today and wanted to make sure they knew i wasnt at home all last night and that bryan was telling the truth...so yea now my parents know that i snuck out last night...shit if they knew how many times ive done it before i would have been more fucked than i am now...but right now im grounded for the weekend...and they said fuck your birthday thats over with...not like anyone will actually remember it...only like 2 people...but yea they dont trust me at all anymore...fuckkkkk...damn i cant believe he got caught...which got me caught
i called cole tonight because i miss talking to him...he was gonna come over to chill but im grounded...so when he gets back from the beach this weekend we are hanging out...it was nice talking to him again...he always makes me feel good
im gonna be eating a lot of ice cream this weekend...fuck now i have nothing to look forward to i dunno how im gonna get through thurs & fri
this made me laugh!
ExceptOnTuesdays: you know allison roll out on tweny fos
sneakin out o shiznit like she got corn rowz
playin fo life it dont even matta
if you grounded o not you still causin tha chatta
cuz everytime you roll up in this biznitch
ExceptOnTuesdays: peepz stop cuz they hittin a hitch
can roll wifout cha or they fall in a ditch
so wheneva youz feelin like youz down in out
dont be trippin just keep grippin n then ya p sowt
since when have i started to say fuckkkk all the time...its like the only word i can say that gives me some satisfaction now gahhhhh
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| whatever |
[25 Sep 2005|08:47pm] |
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feel good inc., gorillaz |
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this weekend has had its ups and downs...
friday night was a lot of fun though! went tail gating before the independence game...then got all hyped up for the actual game! first half i was in the front by brenna, olivia, kate, hil, jen, & lindsey...it was a lot of fun...we did pretty good too...but yea the green machine was rocking haha..then 2nd half i got bumped a little farther back and i was by eak, alli, bryan, kyle, mere, zach, and i dunno who else, it was fun there too minus the fact i couldnt see half the game haha but i still had a lot of fun...and i was like 389472 times hyper...then we went back to brennas to stn!...me, olivia, hil, kate, jen, april and kelly...it was fun!
sat i had a soccer game....i didnt really try...i had no motivation...but i got to ride up with jess...which was fun haha...QUEERS
snuck into the movies with bryan, eli and riley...supposed to see flight plan with eak, olivia nad brenna but we couldnt get tickets...well we ended up leaving early and going to qudobas...saw elis new gf lol...i wish i could have seen flight plan...im scared they are mad now...i dont want them to think i ditched them because its not like that
had another game today...i fell on & did something to my elbow..it hurts like a ajkhfjapslkhj...my parents dont believe me though..figures...wish i could have gone to youth...but the game was at 5 :(
i baked cookies today...thats how sad i was...i hate baking! gosh junior year isnt as good as i thought itd be...
i dont think anyone really even reads this so i dunno why i update all the time...noone wants to read about my life
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| "Listen to your heart..." |
[22 Sep 2005|04:15pm] |
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mood |
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mellow |
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music |
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listen to your heart, DHS |
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this week actually went by pretty fast
went running with alli yesterday...3 miles heck yes! and we had a good conversation! i love her shes awesome!
bryans bus got vanadilzed except this time whoever did it (and im pretty sure i know who) they screwed up the paint job...so i had about 5 people ask me if i did it...haha i have a history in that field...but it actually wasnt me haha!
it sucks to know that someone you consider a "best friend" lies stright to your face
oo well im learning...ill see how long it takes for them to tell the truth...but i dunno if this person can do that
lunch was funny today...i had some good laughs
math is still kicking my ass
i got out of spanish IV...now im in ap enviormental 4th period...anyone have that class?
tomorrow=independence game woohoo...im excited for the game haha...maybe stn at brennas then? i dunno
soccer games both sat & sun...sunday will be a good one ;)
no youth though cuz the game starts at 5...gahh i havent been in forever
and my "love life"...as cole calls it is so confusing...im working on trying to straighten it all out
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| pointless |
[20 Sep 2005|10:59pm] |
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calm |
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music |
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think twice, eve 6 |
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hilton head was fun & not fun...i dunno i was pmsing... which sucked :( i scored a goal this weekend though! and the funny part is...i wasnt aiming to get a goal...how sad
i feel like i missed out on a lot of fun stuff here though...
i hate but dont hate life right now...
im loosing one of my best friends
im learning who i can trust to talk to though
i finally got to do something with cole
i wish i could go to youth sunday but i cant because of soccer
the independence game is going to rockkkk
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| No matter how hard i try...i keep falling back down |
[15 Sep 2005|10:49pm] |
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257 weeks, nine days |
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school is stressful
its taken everything out of me...when i come home i sleep...then wake up for dinner/soccer....then do hw...then sleep later that night...im going insane with all this stress
and on top of that i feel like im losing some of my closest friends...and it sucks :( im just sad and i dunno what to do...no one really seems to care about anyone else anymore
oo well
im going to hilton head tomorrow for a soccer tourney! im excited to hang out with a few people! forget about all this weddington bullshit
ill be back sometime sundayyy...yall can call me if you miss me :) that is if im even going to be missed...
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